Melbourne Lunch

Same place = Tender Traps. Ordered the oysters and linguinni seafood again + a glass of reisling.

Cost a packet. A$55.

But what did it get me - some good chill out time. Some great food. A good military history book. And some time to reflect.

Good food. A nice and sad read on the Fall of Singapore - frankly not a good thing to read when you are as depressed as I am.

Honestly, I feel like blowing my brains out. Some people here just drive me up the wall and make me suicidal. I'm sick of doing things for people and getting nothing but criticism and abuse. And if I don't do anything, the problems get worse.

I spent my last 4 years fixing up the mess that one of my relative created - and instead of reward - I get called all sorts of obscene words under the sun. It hurts me in ways and explaining the problem is really not appropriate. Its like trying to explain to someone over the cell phone that there is actually a raging bull that somehow escaped and is goring you to death. Who would believe you?

Its too painful for me to talk about the mess I'm in at the moment.

How is it possible for people to be placed into the best possible position - socially, financial and even spiritually - and yet - manage to ruin it many times over? And yet, have so little regard for their loved ones?

...

I study history - and you find true monsters: Hitler, Pol Pot, Genghis Khan, Mao, Stalin... I find a common thread in them - people who are greedy, proud, stubborn, and determined to get their own way. Ideology gives them the moral impetus to defend the unspeakable acts they commit.

Did any of them stop and give thought to what they were doing? Possibly.

I hope there is an eternal hell for people who cause such misery on others.