One thing I dread is becoming a father to a severely mentally disabled child, or physically handicapped. I feel extreme sadness for such people as it will be practically impossible for them to develop fully into a functioning human being - and one day leave the care of their parents and eventually care for them.You can sugar coat it in many ways. But the awful truth remains. Its not all there. I think the true heroes are the people who look at their child - and say, "I know you will never understand me. But despite of what you are - I am still your parent - and I love you nonetheless."
One columnist has written about her frustration of bearing such a child. Couldn't take it - and gave the child away. However her reaction and attitude to the whole tragedy however seems frighteningly cold. And she's moved on... perhaps a bit too fast.
Something is wrong here. Another columnist isn't happy jan with her. Read her comments here.
I think the whole affair speaks volumes of our narcissistic self-absorbed meritocratic culture.
1 comment:
I think the coumnist had a great problem with the woman Hollander writing books ad making money from the experience. In my opinion, the best atonement is to take back the child and learn to love and care for her as the reason for giving away the child for the mother (Hollander) seemed to be that she must have had to deal with, and not much support (not even the husband). I couldn't believe that instead of being involved with helping the mother deal with the shock of delivering a disabled baby, he supported dumping the child.
That's partly where I see the problem with evolution. It is not just a scientific term at all. This term has harmed so many cultures and social groups, and created a discrimination and rejection of people who do not seem like they will survive because they are not fit enough. I believe that the subliminal message of "survival of the fittest" has taken away the room for love, and the possibility of unconditional love.
Increasingly, we live in a society that alienates. Every person for his own. Because we don't recognise or even fear God, we believe only in ourselves and our abilities, and when that is tested by something such as a disabled child, we want to get rid of our "assumed" failure. There were days when communities were more accepting of each other, and the village idiot had freedom to enjoy his day in the marketplace and was not hidden away in shame.
That being said, I believe it is the responsibility of not just the parents to learn to harness the love they don't know they had, but also the community to support and create space for disabled people to be reach whatever potential they have and be useful to their communities.
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